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Interactions within families are already complicated when you include in dealing with a mother-in-law. Not long ago, a woman’s mother-in-law experienced unforeseen suffering because of a seemingly harmless gift she had given her. Although she meant good, her well-intentioned behavior produced tension, leaving the two women bewildered and furious. Tensions are running high at home, and she has the double burden of trying to repair her relationship with her husband while still taking good care of her family.
Write down whatever comes to mind.
We appreciate you telling us your story, Tania. We understand that your well-intentioned gift to your mother-in-law caused tension between you two, and we sympathize. If you’re having trouble maintaining harmony in your family, we hope the data we’ve collected may help.
Write down whatever comes to mind.
Priorities first: affirm her sentiments if tension has been building up since the gift exchange. Please accept my sincerest apologies; it was never my intention for the present to make you feel unloved. Pay close attention to what she says and refrain from interrupting or defending yourself. Her feelings will be validated by this. Giving her space to express her thoughts may provide the groundwork for trust and respect.
Get your objectives very clear.
Once you’ve apologized and given her opportunity to express herself, kindly explain your rationale for picking that particular gift. You wanted to create an environment that would be good for her health and happiness, not something that would make her feel uncomfortable, so make that obvious. Express your sincere desire to choose a gift that she would really like. A polite way to put it is that this could give her a better idea of the effort that went into the gift and make her appreciate it more.
Tell her how much you appreciate her helping you buy a home; it will go a long way toward expressing your feelings for her. Your sincere appreciation is due to her steadfast faith in your family’s capacity to achieve success. A statement such as, “We’re really appreciative of all the help you gave us because without it, we never would have been able to build this house.” You may strengthen your bond with her and boost her self-esteem by praising her for all the help she’s given the family.
Maintain an air of poise and respect when you broach the subject of family health goals.
If maintaining a healthy lifestyle is important to you and your family, gently let her know that it is your goal. Establishing a healthy eating regimen in the family is a must, so make that objective apparent to everyone, especially the kids. Recognize her contribution to creating this peaceful environment and thank her for it. Make it clear that you aren’t hoping for a magical change in her behavior from her alone, but rather that you are seeking a compromise that satisfies everyone in your family.
Moving to a new home isn’t easy for anybody, and it’s normal for emotions to run high at first. She needs time and space to settle into her new family and home. At this juncture, it may be helpful to be patient, kind, and compassionate with one another. If you can show her that you’re willing to step back and allow things develop naturally without interfering too much, she could feel more confident and at comfortable.
When it comes to getting a child’s ears pierced, each parent should make their own autonomous choice. No one wants a family member to make a decision that might ultimately determine their fate. The mother-in-law of our reader clearly crossed a line when she interacted with her newborn daughter.
